How long did I try to make you happy,
because that is what you do when you love someone,
all the while, you were trying to make me miserable,
so you could leave?
Years?
Years, in a desperate plea,
an attempt to make you dreams come true,
all the while, it made you hate me more.

This realization,
just this week,
unhinged me truly.
Cry. I cry always in the car.
Not just cry, but sob.
A rash travels up and down my arm,
at random times,
even while teaching.

When you love so much,
it hurts,
to find out you were loved,
who did not love you in return.