It surprises me that I haven't been mad. Anger seems far away. Just consumed by sad. Waves of anguish for the lost things overcome me. overwhelms and then resides. Every present though.

What would I give for a ray of hope? I suppose I've lived off hope for too long at this point. With hope, I never could made the first step out of despair.

There is more pain now in this new place, but maybe it is just that I have face that pain that has been here all along.