Love him much. I know I'm strong either way. I will be okay.

The hardest thing would be looking again for love, because I love him. I would want someone just like him (only the troubles erased), which isn't fair to anyone or myself.
I will regret the baby, the loving family I so hoped for, but now may never had. I see my father getting old. Close to 70. Grandchildren he would love, though he has never said a thing about it. I see myself, a teenager when I entered this relationship, near the end of my ovaries peek time. That stings.

I regret nothing, except the timing for my ovaries. Poor timing.

Still, I am a strong, lover of life and will continue to be a strong, lover of life. I would like to share my life with another strong, lover of live. Will it be him? Someone else? Maybe someone like him? Or just myself?

For a planner, the not knowing is hard.