Read on caringbridge from a friend today:
And through it all, she has been here - yes holding me, and holding buckets and making meals and making tea and organizing meds and calling doctors and taking me to the ER (crazy emergency surgery) - but most importantly being the someone to love who loves me back more than I can imagine....And the truth is, I'm not sure what's next. I'm trying to figure that out. The biggest kindness is that whatever is next I completely trust that she and I will be doing it together. Have I mentioned before how lucky I feel about that? So lucky.

Instead of feeling happy for my friend, I had a moment of self-pity. I did all that for him. Why doesn't he feel the same way about me?

And it is time to get over it. Sunk cost. Right? It is just that I thought it was an investment that would pay off with companionship and love.